I once read Nelson Mandela describing the purpose of freedom
as something that “enables us to live in a way that respects and enhances the
freedom of others” – for him the purpose of freedom was to free others. Prior
to reading this I’d never thought to question the purpose of freedom, it was
just something I took for granted, a state I simply deserved as a human. I had
a similar outlook to love, never questioning its purpose, just assuming it was something
that ‘happened’, something I tried to ‘do’ and something I received. However, I'm finding that exploring this question can dramatically shift the way we view and
go about our important relationships.
Examining Love’s purpose makes sense in light of a failure
to define love – despite hundreds of years of researchers, thinkers, philosophers
and spiritual leaders trying to do so. In order to gain a practical understanding
of it, they often resort to what it does, its transformational power, its
impact on people and groups. From these they shape a purpose. While there is
still many debates, a common understanding of its purpose sits around growth. One
definition I like is “Love is the will to extend oneself for the spiritual
growth of oneself or another” (from Scott Peck’s book ‘The Road Less Travelled’).
Many others allude to the same concept
of love being connected to the growth and development of people, groups and the
world in general.
If we look at this more broadly and connect love to the
biology of life – as many thinkers do – we begin to see a pattern
that connects everything, and speaks to the very meaning of life. Consider the
basic drive of all forms of life – to grow. Look at plants striving to grow on the
sides of walls or through cracks in concrete. Or potatoes thrown in the darkest
cupboard, they still send out roots to the faintest crack of light. All of life
strives to grow! But notice their aim is not to just be replications of their
ancestors, to be exactly the same. The fundamental principle is more than this, it’s to flourish in unique, creative and adaptive ways – to be bigger,
healthier or stronger than previous forms. For humans, physical evolution/adaptation
operates on the same similar principle, but for humans it’s also a principle of our
psychological and emotional development. Here is where love comes in.
Everything I’m learning says love’s purpose is to drive all
life forward in positive ways – for individuals, groups and the world. For us
to experience the joys of love, so as to grow in love - and grow the very
concept and practice of love (love itself, they argue, is slowly being released, nurtured
and expanded – and it’s our role to be a part of the process). However because the very nature of love is creative (like the basic
forms of life) we grow in love in creative and unique ways – which makes us attractive
to others, which draws others into the process, and on it goes. As someone has
said, love creates a ‘spiralling addiction’ that both drives and pulls us
forward.
The question now is, how does this change our current view
of love (particularly the ‘romantic’ view) and what will it mean for our
relationships? A question you will need to address in your uniquely creative
way :)
Cheers, Alex
