Happiness is found in ‘striving’!? - Part 1

While I’ve researched much about happiness (interpret that as you may:) it’s from two books in particular that I’ve learnt the most: “The Happiness Hypothesis” (Jonathan Haidt) and “Authentic Happiness” (Martin Seligman). These authors both point to scientific, philosophical and spiritual sources who all suggest true happiness is not found in achieved goals (material, personal or relational) but in constant ‘striving’. That is, in continuous growth, change and challenge… in keeping life moving forward.

They go as far as to say our sadness, personal struggles and dissatisfactions are there to ensure we do keep moving forward. For examples of this, just look at the bios of your inspiring leaders, artists, musicians, authors or sporting role models – nearly all will refer to challenging or prolonged troubles being key to their development.  And they usually continue to seek out challenge or change. While we certainly need times of rest and consolidation, it is becoming apparent that to sit still is to go backwards.

"Sitting still in life explains many peoples unhappiness."

If life is a journey (which, while a very tired cliché, seems to be true) then we will ‘arrive’ at new ‘places’ and explore and learn from them, but as ‘travellers’ we will at some point get restless and start looking toward our next ‘destination’ – to ‘strive’ forward. This does not necessarily mean radical change, but can simply mean taking on new things we never thought we were capable of, or would enjoy. Such as: new sports, recreational activities or hobbies; new careers, jobs, tasks or goals; or new relationships (particularly with those outside our normal groups). 

For me, it means taking risks and stepping out of comfort zones in some way. It means seeking out challenge and change instead of avoiding or hoping they pass us by. Which they may - but at what cost to real happiness and growth?

My experience is this is not easy, but is undeniably rewarding.

While I relate to change, challenge and growth in various physical and career endeavours - applying this to my relationships is a relatively new concept, but I'll leave exploring that until my next post. In the meantime, let me know your thoughts.

Cheers, Alex